333,916 Hours and Counting…

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”The difficulties which I meet with in order to realize my existence are precisely what awaken and mobilize my activities, my capacities.” – Jose Ortega y Gasset

There are transformations afoot which require me to awaken distinctive aspects of my personality, create another level of freedom, engage in fun, increase my well-being and health, and express love wholeheartedly. Nothing happens overnight, but it is a gradual awakening with the intention of living fully expressed to spite circumstances. I believe that it is awakening myself will propel me to the next phase with power and bring some folks along with me. Marianne Williamson said it best “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ….And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I’m no Marianne Williamson or Tony Robbins, but I am Sidney Y. Gaskins, and the best one there is to date. Yesterday I decided to get back to working out. I have this dream of being sleek and sexy by my 40th birthday, in November. It’s far enough away to tweak things, make mistakes, and get back on.  My first task was just getting up, and when I saw 55º I wasn’t so sure it was a good idea. What I remembered was that when I lived in Cleveland I would run in the snow. With that thought, I suited up and did my 3 miles; after which I felt pretty good. What has occurred to me recently are the many opportunities that have passed me by. Well, let me strike that and say it like this, “the many opportunities I have passed by.” Why do I say it that way? Easy.


That number represents the approximate number of hours I’ve been alive. And it is approximate. What I know for sure is that there are many lost opportunities because of fear, guilt, shame, lack of knowledge and confidence. Each one of these can be detrimental alone, but together it’s a virtual powder keg waiting to explode with the ignition of one. In the past 3 months I’ve taken the time to intentionally explore myself, why things have not turned out how I thought they might, and to focus on transforming situations and circumstances. It can’t happen without being open to the truth. Truth is I’ve been inconsistent, but consistent about being inconsistent. Does that make sense? When I decide to do something I consistently assess, reassess, question, think, act, react, stop, and sometimes don’t move at all. I believe in inspired action, and seeing how much I get inspired, take action, and have moved on things in my life has become a source of pride. I didn’t get to where I am without taking action, risks, and moving forward. I do have to acknowledge that there are times that I’m concerned or anxious, but it is a part of the journey.

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With all that said, I endeavor to awaken the giant within me, live, live healthy, love wholeheartedly, and shape m destiny with intentionality. My life continues with intentionality in the face of uncertainty. I’m preparing for the completion of graduate school, developing things that will help others in their life; already researching health, the combination of healthy eating and the mind, workouts, business ideas, partnerships, love and relationships, and preparing to unleash another level of life. This week, I’m taking on reading The Four Agreements and if Buddha dated, along with working out, and researching healthy living while sharing with others the real deal of it all. It annoys me when people say “let the journey begin” especially when it has to do with life because it is continual so I’ll say, “the journey continues”.


Recommended Reading:

Click book to purchase at Alibris.com.

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